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Thursday, August 18

Warning of a New Disease...

I am deeply indebted to the co-chair of the Iowa Green Party for forwarding this important message to me which I have seen fit to include in today's blog:

The Centers for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gon-na re-elect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past four years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to:
anti-social personality disorder traits;
delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
chronic mangling of the English language;
extreme cognitive dissonance;
inability to incorporate new information;
extremely intense xenophobia;
inability to accept responsibility for actions;
exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
uncontrolled facial smirking;
ignorance of geography and history;
delusions of empire building;
tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;
and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington, D.C. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas Bush.

The Secretary of Health and Disease Prevention Washington, D.C.

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