I Cannot Yet Skin A Deer / Are you prepared for the Big Collapse? Peak Oil? Rural life? Can you pickle meat...
by Mark Morford
Rare is the opportunity to use authentic, down 'n' dirty rural survival skills in the city. It's true.
You don't need to know, for example, how to skin a deer or pickle your own asparagus or nurture an understanding of which kind of deadwood is best for cookin' pig snouts over the fire pit, or how to shingle your roof with rocks and clay, or how to dig really large holes in the backyard for long-term storage of winter wheat and dead chickens and hoary annoying relatives.
City-bred skills and intuitions are, to be sure, unique. But there will apparently be very little call, after the Bush-branded apocalypse rains down, for knowledge of which seat in the café gets the best Wi-Fi signal or where to find the finest burrito after midnight in the Mission when you are post-coitally blissed and in need of refueling.
Very little call, after the Big Ungodly Crash, for knowledge of where to get the most amazing cheap dim sum, how much the large bottle of Astroglide costs at the local Good Vibrations, or which tiny parking spaces in my girlfriend's neighborhood I can sneak into for emergency booty calls without her uptight neighbors calling Bob's Towing. ... read the rest
Friday, July 15
From the only man I ever really loved. Go head, walk on the wild side, read it and y'all will understand why I loves him.