Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?
You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:
About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.
Well let me ask you this- when they were making this shit up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bullshit list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.
Let's start with the first three:
- I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME
- THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN
- THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH
- HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER
Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we're going to jump around the list a little bit.
- THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
- THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS
And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together:
- THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY
- THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE
But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3.
- THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS
- THOU SHALT NOT KILL
- Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.
- Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.
Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
Thanks to almostinfamous for the link to this.
Blonde Note: Carlin uses Catholic 10 Commandments because he was Catholic once