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Saturday, January 29

SPACE PROGRAM

by Missouri Mule

Bush announced an initiative to spend twelve billion dollars to create permanent moonbase by 2020. That's the first smart thing that he has proposed. He knows by the time he get through, we will be so fucked on this planet that we're gong to be needing another home real soon. We're going to have to sneak off and move in the middle of the night. Between the pollution, lowered emission standards, drilling, and pissing off every other country on the planet, Bush knows it's time for us to start packing up. Or should I say them, not us.

NASA, the JPL, it's the welfare for nerds, It is like a billion dollar welfare program for really smart dorks. Where else are they going to work? They're too smart to do anything else. They can't fit in with us. They know a bunch of stuff that regular folks could give two shits about. They would annoy us to the point of hurting them. "Hey, did you know that the atmosphere on ......" Pow! "Shut it up, dummy on the moon."

What have we learned from our space travels? Seriously? What have we learned or discovered that affects our daily lives? Nothing. We're spending billions of dollars in outer space for what? Why don't we spend just half of that to find out who shot Tupac?

I don't give a damn about space travel. I don't even have a passport, so you know I don't give a fuck about the weather on Mars. Shit, I'm not leaving the country, get caught up in a coup. Whenever they do discover something, the vast majority of us have no idea what it means. "Scientists discovered today that stars can be consumed by a black hole." WHAT??? Sounds like a report about Lil'Kim to me. "NASA discovered that an area of Mars was once drenched in water." And? Even the mews anchor who reports the story don't know what the hell they're talking about. When it comes to that shit, they are just reading the TelePrompTer. Even Peter Jennings has that blank stare when it come to that space shit.

Approximately twenty percent of Americans currently own a passport, so why are we dicking around in space? Ain't no happy Mars movies. Star Trek went there and shit went bad. I do believe that there is life on other planets. I also believe that we are the dumbest creatures in the universe. The Fox network is proof positive. I bet they don't dare have shows like The Littlest Groom or The Swan on Neptune.

I bet our Opportunity Rover is on the Martian news. "Those simple earthlings are at it again." To them........our rover is probably like the mosquitoes and the West Nile virus to us. "We're going to have to spray again."

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