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Thursday, March 11

Bushwhacked here on Lawn Guyland


Today the President of the United States is coming to Long Island to raise campaign funds. While he is here, he is also visiting the park across the street from me to do some photo ops at a mini 9/11 memorial and also visiting a Bayshore LI auto parts plant. My good friend Frank Walker ( will be performing there for Mr. Bush. The President is raising money at the Carltun where I got married 27 years ago. I guess if it's good enough for such elite as the Long Island right wing, then I must have had very good taste 27 years ago when I wanted to get married there.
Funny thing is that I walk past that place every day with my friend, Pat. It's surreal.

Today I was thinking while lying in bed, how fun it would be if I could get the local press to interview me. I would pretend to be a Bush supporter. This is what I would say:

"I am so happy and thrilled that the President is here in East Meadow today. He has done more for our country than any other president before him. He is on a crusade against those evil doers and I love how he said, "Bring 'em on!" and all the bad guys came out of the woodwork and our brave boys in Iraq and Afghanistan are wooping their asses and killing all those horrible evil people in the middle east. I hope Bush wipes out all those infidels in the name of god almighty, the protector of these United States of Amurca. I hope our country is building lots of nukes so we can annihilate those bastards. Go America! I love when our President kills bad people. That is what made America what it is today"

I was going to go over to the park to protest later, but alas, they have snipers hiding in the bushes! Holy AK47 Batman! I like my ass, thank you. So much for free speech. I'll see if I can find out about a free speech zone.

Since I did so well with my Apple stock lately, I was thinking I should have paid the $2000 to get into the fundraiser so I could tell the President how much I admired his courage in killing all those Iraqi infidels so I could drive my Ford Land Destroyer.

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